I was there

Yes, I’m lonely. But it’s not his fault. The lies kept me company for quite awhile. Now they have scatted like autumn leaves. Flirting with the warm earth. Waiting for the cold rains to wash away all those silly possibilities. Like searching for that needle in a haystack. Not knowing what I’ll do when I find it.

I’ve never denied being there. I’ve never claimed to be innocent. The surprising part is that the world kept turning.

The years tumbling, stumbling along. As if nothing ever happened. And sometimes I have to wonder if maybe nothing did. Not out of the ordinary, anyway. Like walking for miles with a rock in my shoe. I could stop and shake it out, but I’m far too determined to get there. The pain little more than a distraction.

I can go back as far as I’d like but I cannot change a thing.