I want to say, “It just happened.” And I guess I could say that and it wouldn’t be a lie. Because it did happen. From no matter where I stand. Hard candy in a shiny wrapper I never should have touched. But now that it’s undone, I can’t put it back.
I’ve never claimed to be a good person. Thinking that tomorrow can be my friend. Never considering all the beds it has to abandon before it finds these sheets upon which to rest. As if time were not real, and life not just a train wreck waiting to happen.
Sirens in the distance, but I don’t care. Collecting pieces of a puzzle as I find them, with no idea of what the final picture is going to be.
I flirt with danger and it flirts back. Pull a pebble from a mountain and I think I’ve done no harm, but that is how it starts. Like a street with no lines down the middle to tell me what side I should be on or even which direction I should go.
It doesn't seem to matter where it starts, only where it leads. Even the softest fabric will burn my skin if I struggle against it long enough. I want to be closer, but I suspect I’m already as close as I can get.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
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This is painfully real to me, today.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that no matter where I have been in life, you have something I can understand and relate to. Ever since I found your journal last fall I've checked it often. I tend to re-read past pages to find the right words.
You write with the words I have lost about the emotions I have found. Thank you.
Cathy - glad you liked it. I never know if people understand my writing or not.
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