Otherwise

Days without a sign and then it all catches up. I have these words, but I never know what to do with them. The afterwards is such a lonely place. The movie ends, the credits roll, but my name is never there. My heart is empty, despite all those things that fight to fill it. The lights come on, but I have no place to go.

I count the steps, out of habit. Up to heaven down to hell. It makes no difference. Neither door will open for me. My gods have always been tangible. And yet I can never get close enough.

There must be a beginning, middle and end, no matter how far I skip ahead. Pages unturned nothing more than dying flowers in dirty water. The closing song never sad enough. I always assume it’s obvious, how I feel. But his actions tell me otherwise.